It's That Time of Year Again

Once November hits, my world spins a little faster than normal.

Basketball season arrives.

If I could cuss on my blog, I would do that now.

Because (insert cuss word), it can really be tough on a family.

Yes, I am thankful my husband has a job. I am thankful I have a husband. I am thankful for health. Believe me, I am counting my blessings.

But allow me to whine for just one moment, will you? Because being married to a coach can really be (insert cuss word) sometimes.

The traveling. The losing. The injuries. The missing. The pressure. The stress. The unknown. The busyness. The absentness. The lonliness. The future. (insert cuss word)

I get this way every season. You think I'd get used to it. But it's hard to get used to your heart getting stripped dry. It is hard to get used to putting up the Christmas lights by yourself for the 14th year in a row. It is hard not to feel sad again when I turn on the radio and hear that the Golden Eagles have lost a game.

But every year, this year being no exception, God humbles me and reminds me that this is where he wants me. It is not coincidence that the dark and cold days of fall and winter are the days I am seeking His face most. It is in fact a privelege... because left to my own devices I would most certainly, certainly try to do it all on my own.

But November levels me. Reminds me.... I need God. I need Him on a very real and personal way. I need Him more than my fleeting prayers and my Sunday sermons and my quick look at His Word. I need Him like I need my next breath.

Basketball season gives me the opportunity to experience Him working in a very real and powerful way in my life. Giving me strength (and patience!) to deal with 3 demanding kids on my own. Giving me wisdom to understand that my life really does not depend on 12 college basketball players, but Him alone. Giving me more faith each and every year. I can feel it growing. It does hurt. But it's just a few faith growing pains. Reminding me that "the rock" is not that round orange ball, as it is sometimes called, but HIM.

He is my rock.

Then come the blessings. The assurance. The peace. They do come. Not immediately. Not at all immediately. Annoying slowly actually. But in His time.

I have a feeling I am not the only one. We all have the things that bring us to our knees. I want you to know I can relate. When you think you are the only one struggling with whatever. Just know I struggle too.

Deep breath.

The cussing is over for now. I am determined to trust in the Lord with all my heart and rely not on my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge Him and He will direct my paths. I pray you do the same.