This is the Stuff Headlines are Made Of

Setting: 5th grade girls basketball tournament, high school gymnasium, Championship game
Time: 6 o'clock Sunday, 1 hour delayed start time

Situation: Tight game, competitive little girls, intensity on the court.

Dialogue:

Coach #1 yells at the referee, protesting that a foul wasn't called on the opposing team:
OVER THE BACK, REF!!!

Coach #2 laughs and shakes head, not seeing the foul, then questions loudly:
OVER THE BACK?

Coach #1 gets angry and yells at Coach #2:
ARE YOU MOCKING ME? ARE YOU MOCKING ME? I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER MOCK ME AGAIN. I WILL COME OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR A**. MOCK ME AGAIN. MOCK ME AGAIN!!!

Coach #2 stunned, comes back with:
WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS A 5TH GRADE GIRLS GAME. AND YOU WANT TO FIGHT? (thinking I haven't been in a fight since Elementary School)

Coach #1: YEAH! I'LL BEAT YOUR A**! COME ON OVER HERE!!!!

This is the point where the headline could have been made. You've seen em before.


Asssault on Coach Stuns Colleagues
Parents Assault Rugby Coach During Game
2 Coaches Fight, Expelled From League

And you wonder how in the living world such a thing could happen. How could grown men come to blows over 10 year olds out there playing a GAME of basketball?

This, friends, is how it happens: Coach #1 has so little of a life that his significance rides on the outcome of this game. Or maybe that person is just an angry person in general. Or maybe he's just having a bad day. Whatever the case, he throws down the gauntlet.

And then Coach #2, being a man with God-given testosterone flowing through his body, feels the primal need to protect himself and BOOM, you've got yourself a bloody fight right there on the hardwood.

Thankfully, Coach #2, being the level-headed husband of mine, just said, YOU ARE CRAZY and turned away. His wife thought she was going to vomit for about an hour.